


Full Circle

by thedisgruntledone



Series: Unfair Exchange [6]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Frottage, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mind Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 18:03:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1697474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedisgruntledone/pseuds/thedisgruntledone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will has lost the battle against what Lecter does to make him feel good. If he can't manage to turn the tables, can't gain a bit of his power back in this game, it might be time to think of a new plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Circle

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, thanks for the comments and kudos. I don't know when plot started happening, or if it will continue. Seriously, all I wanted was to try my hand at some porn.

When she found him, he was sitting in the Quantico cafeteria, staring down at his lunch and telling himself that he should probably eat it. The battle was a futile one, he knew that before he started, but he had to try. Eating was important to continued physical and mental health, and if he wasn’t healthy, Jack would stop letting him come to crimes scenes. There had been a point in his life when he’d have been thankful for that, but now it only served to make anxiety buzz in his gut. He needed to help with cases, he needed something to ground him that wasn’t the result of a serial killer’s hands and mouth on him, his voice in Will’s ears. He picked up the sandwich, saw Alana striding towards him with a determined expression, and put it back down gratefully.

She stopped at his table, uncertain, hovering anxiously over a chair. He knew she wanted to take it, and he wanted her to, but he’d have to offer. Their relationship was no longer of a kind where she would sit without his invitation, and though the thought gave him a pang of regret, he didn’t offer her the seat she wanted. He couldn’t, not until he knew at whose behest she had once again decided to approach him. They hadn’t spoken in months, and he had a sneaking suspicion that he knew why she had decided to seek him out once again.

Alana didn’t make him wait long. Gripping the back of the chair she wanted to take, she met his eyes. “Hannibal says you’ve stopped showing up for your appointments.”

Will grinned at her. “Do you know what I’ve always liked best about you? You don’t beat around the bush.” He gestured at the chair she was abusing with her hands, an invitation. She took it, sinking down gratefully.

“Yes, well, you appreciate honesty.”

“I do. So tell me, honestly, why it matters to you that I stopped my therapy with Dr. Lecter. If I recall correctly, you thought it was a bad idea.”

She hesitated, looked away. He studied her profile for a moment, then understanding dawned.

“Jack told you about what happened.” He smiled again, this time completely devoid of humor. “Of course he did. He’s not bound by any confidentiality. He told you, and you went to Hannibal, who what? Mentioned in passing that I hadn’t been coming to therapy?” He shook his head. “No, he wouldn’t have stated it so baldly. He only mentioned that he hadn’t been so fortunate as to see me since my unfortunate episode, and let you take it from there. Which of course you did, because you’re very _concerned_ about Hannibal Lecter, aren’t you, Alana?”

She finally met his gaze. He knew she wanted to keep avoiding it, admired that she didn’t. “Yes,“ she admitted through gritted teeth. “I am concerned about Hannibal. I have already said that resuming therapy is a bad idea, and not just for him, but neither of you listened. And now you’re running away from the one person who might be able to _help_ you because you don’t want him to see you vulnerable. This is exactly why I didn’t want you going back to him! You’re not getting the help you need, and he’s not sleeping because he can’t stop worrying about you. It’s not _healthy_ , Will!” Her voice had risen with the last sentence, and a couple of people glanced over with interest. Alana colored slightly, and stayed silent until every curious eye had turned back to its own lunch. She took a deep breath, visibly calming herself as Will stared. “Look. I know that we aren’t – that we can’t – go back to the way things were. But we used to care about each other. At least, I cared about you. I can’t turn that off because you’ve done things that scare me, though I really wish I could. I don’t want to see you fall apart.”

Having said what she came to, Alana stood. She looked down at him, bit her lip. Hesitated, then said in a rush, “If you don’t or won’t trust Hannibal to help you with this, find someone else. Please don’t make your friends watch you lose yourself to your demons.”

Will reached out, grasped her hand before she could start to leave. He tried to say something, wanted to tell her that he appreciated her concern, that he had cared for her once, too, might have even come to love her had circumstances been even a little bit different. Wanted to warn her about Lecter. The words wouldn’t come. Instead he squeezed her hand, trying to convey his meaning through that touch. He thought she understood, at least a little; the corner of her mouth turned up slightly before she gently removed her hand and stepped away. He didn’t watch her leave. Instead, he looked back down at his sandwich and tried to envision taking a bite. It seemed less difficult than before.

~****~

“Dr. Lecter says you’ve stopped your therapy.”

“Hello Jack. I’m doing better, thanks for asking.”

Jack’s lips pursed. “Why have you stopped?”

“Why is Dr. Lecter discussing my therapy with you? He’s no longer on your payroll.”

“He isn’t discussing your therapy with me. There hasn’t been any therapy to discuss. Answer my question.”

Will sighed and ran a hand over his face. He was so tired. “He’s not giving me anything, okay? I go there every week, sometimes twice, and he just picks me apart and sends me home feeling hollowed out. I’m sick of it.”

Jack studied him a moment, then looked down and said carefully, “He called me. He’s worried, Will, and that tells me that he’s given you some measure of trust.”

Will snorted. “He’s worried his favorite toy has been broken and he wasn’t the one to do it, you mean.” For a brief moment, it was on the tip of his tongue to tell Jack just _what_ Lecter might be missing about him, but he bit it back, horrified.

“Can you blame him? You’re not eating, not sleeping – and don’t try to tell me you are, I could see the circles under your eyes from the doorway – you fell apart at a crime scene-“

“Once. I fell apart once. And then I put myself back together, and we caught him. So what exactly is the problem?”

“The problem is you said you could catch me the Ripper, Will, and yet here we sit, with our fish still off the hook.” Jack leaned back in his seat. “I’d like to think that the experience with Miriam has taught me something about not putting my people in situations they can’t handle. If you can’t do this, tell me, and I’ll find a new way to get him.”

Will closed his eyes, shook his head. “No. I can handle it. I just – what I’m doing now isn’t working. I think I’m going to need to change the bait a bit. I’ll probably need to make a few…morally questionable choices. You should be prepared for that.”

Jack frowned. It was obvious that he didn’t care for the new direction Will was planning on taking, but that didn’t trouble Will in the least. In the end, they both wanted to catch Lecter, and both thought that any sacrifice was worth it to do so.

When Jack finally nodded his agreement, Will didn’t even pretend to be surprised.

~****~

He showed up to his next appointment at Lecter’s office.

Instead of taking his usual seat, he climbed the ladder to the second floor and perused the books lining the shelves, hands in his pockets and posture relaxed.

Lecter watched him for a while. “I am glad you decided to come back,” he finally said, once he realized Will wasn’t planning on starting the conversation.

“I suppose you would be. Tell me, Dr. Lecter, was it galling or gratifying for you to realize that I have only two people in my life who might care if I were falling apart? Aside from you, of course.” Will sent a sarcastic nod of the head towards Lecter, who regarded him silently without replying. Will smiled. “A bit of both, then. Galling because you know that neither Jack nor Alana is fully on your side about this. Alana thinks that we’re better off not seeing each other at all because of our history, and Jack, well, Jack just wants me to do my job. He doesn’t particularly care how that happens, so long as I achieve the results he wants to see. Gratifying, because you had to realize, when talking to them and planting your little hints, that I would have no other option but to return. That despite everything, despite what I know you to be, you are still the only one I can turn to.” He strode to the railing, placed his arms on it lightly. “And how does that make you feel?”

Lecter’s mouth tilted downward slightly. “I would appreciate it if you would come down from there.”

Will stayed where he was. “I think we need to renegotiate the parameters of our…relationship. The current arrangement is no longer acceptable.”

“I don't recall our arrangement leaving room for negotiation. Or have you forgotten the terms?”

“I’ve forgotten nothing. I offered myself in exchange for Alana Bloom, so that you would leave her alone. I was thoroughly unwilling, and you were in complete control of our every encounter. I think we’ve both proven that is no longer the case.” Will pulled back from the railing and crossed to the ladder, climbed down to the bottom level. As soon as his feet had left the last rung and he'd turned to face him, Lecter was crowding Will back against the ladder, as he’d known he would. Will allowed his back to hit the wood behind him, but faced Lecter unflinchingly. This had to be said, no matter how little he liked it.

“I may have started this thing unwillingly. It might have been to keep you from Alana. But I think the last time proved that that’s not exactly the case any longer.”

Lecter’s hands grasped the ladder on either side of Will’s head. He leaned closer. “What makes you believe this changes anything? I have always known you enjoyed our encounters. Your new eagerness to admit to it can hardly make much of a difference to me.”

“I’m not the only one who’s changed. I saw the way you reacted to me, last time. How much you liked me touching you.” He reached up, trailed a finger down Lecter’s face. There was no overt reaction, but something within his eyes lit up. Will smiled. “You like when it’s reciprocal. You like when I don’t fight what I feel. When I don't fight what I want.” Will swallowed hard. “I’m willing to give you that, but I need you to give me something, too.”

“And what might that something be, my dear Will?”

“I need you to trust me. I need you to let me in – not all the way, I know better than to ask that of you – but enough so that I can touch you the way you touch me. Enough so that I might be the one to take you apart, for once.” His mouth quirked in amusement. “I promise it will feel very good.”

"And if I were to say no, that I prefer our arrangement the way that it is?”

“If you say no, then I suppose I'll have to put an end to it, for good this time. I can’t do it the way we were, not anymore. We once promised not to lie to each other. Please believe me when I say that if something doesn’t change I will walk out that door and this time I won’t come back.”

Lecter smirked. “You would leave me to return to Alana Bloom? After everything you've done to protect her?”

Will forced himself to remain calm, to keep the bright panic that flared within him at the thought from telegraphing through his face or body. He kept his eyes on Lecter’s, trying to project confidence. “That won’t happen. It’s been too long now, she would never trust you not to end things the same way as before. Whatever purpose you needed Alana for, it no longer exists.” _You have me now_. He left it unsaid, but knew that Lecter heard him anyway. He didn't mind. It was only the truth, after all.

Lecter studied his face for a moment, then gave a small nod. That was all Will needed to raise his other hand to his face, pulling it forward gently until their lips met.

He felt Lecter’s arms tense, heard the ladder creak lightly with the sudden tightening of powerful fingers, but other than that there was no movement, no attempt to take control of the kiss. Will smiled against Lecter’s mouth and ran his tongue lightly over his lower lip, encouraging the mouth underneath his to open for him. After a moment it did, slowly, and Will slid his tongue inside.

He wanted to keep the kiss light and playful, mindful of where they were, but that changed when Lecter submitted to him, sighed against his mouth and leaned into the kiss rather than fight for control of it. Almost before he knew what was happening, Will had his hands in Lecter’s hair, was pulling him in tighter and trying to devour him. One of his hands slid down to cup his backside – he used the grip to pull their groins together. Lecter inhaled sharply, and then he was pushing Will away gently.

“I would prefer it if we left this to my home,” he said, and Will quirked an eyebrow, recalling that the first placed they’d done anything had been the office. Lecter smiled, apparently reading his mind.

“Ah, yes, the first time. That was to seal the agreement, my Will. It was highly unprofessional of me, but I felt it was important to establish the new dynamic to our relationship.”

Will returned the smile. “It would appear that our dynamic has changed yet again. I fully approve of establishing it as soon as possible.” He glanced briefly at the clock. “We have plenty of time.”

“William.”

“Dr. Lecter.” Will matched the man’s flat tone as he gave him a small push, moving Lecter back enough to slip out from between him and the ladder. He strode to his usual chair and sprawled into it, spreading his legs and shooting a challenging look at the other man. “Symmetry pleases you; you enjoy it when events come full circle. Don’t you think it’s only fitting that the new arrangement begin in the same place as the last? This office has seen its share of milestones in our ever evolving relationship. It’s only fair that it bear witness to this one as well, wouldn't you agree?”

Lecter’s mouth twitched upward. “You want to recreate our first encounter.”

“With a few minor variations. One of them being that you won’t have to talk me into enjoying it this time.” Will held out his hand and waited, schooling his face to remain perfectly calm, his body to betray nothing of the nervousness rolling in his stomach. Lecter could not refuse this. If he did, Will would be knocked two steps back in the process of earning his trust, and that trust was essential.

When Lecter moved forward and slid his hand into Will’s, he allowed himself a slight sigh of relief. It would be good for Lecter to see that, to be lulled into believing that Will had allowed himself to slip so far into his own desire that he’d lost sight of who Lecter really was. Will gave the hand he held a sharp tug, pulling Lecter forwards and into his lap. Lecter’s brows went up in amusement as he placed his legs to either side of Will, sliding up to press himself against Will’s erection. He placed his hands deliberately on the chair at either side of Will’s head, and waited.

Will laughed, genuinely amused himself by how well Lecter remembered their first encounter. “I believe that the next move went something like this,” he said, laughter still coloring his voice. He tilted up his hips slightly, and Lecter surprised him by pushing back down right away. _Minor variations_ , he reminded himself, and reached up, one hand pushing Lecter more firmly against him while the other made its way into his hair to pull him down for a kiss.

He liked kissing, always had, and Lecter was very good with his mouth. Now that he was allowing himself to enjoy what was happening, Will could let himself gasp as Lecter’s lips left his to trail towards his ear so that he could whisper into it, never once faltering the rhythm of his hips.

“I must confess that I'm rather disappointed not to have to talk to you while we do this. I enjoy your reactions very much. Yet it might prove beneficial to me, to have you this way. We have made such a breakthrough, my Will. You have to trust me to allow me to give you pleasure without fighting it first.” He took the lobe of Will’s ear between his teeth and bit, tugging lightly and causing him to let out a soft noise of pleasure. His hips twitched up sharply, and Lecter smiled against his ear, releasing the lobe to whisper into it once again. “Tell me, Will, how it feels. To let go. To give in.”

Will squirmed, not particularly comfortable with what was being asked of him. He should have known that Lecter would never relinquish his control fully, never allow Will to have all the power. To distract them both, he slid the hand that had buried itself in Lecter’s hair down his chest and between his legs, cupping him.

Now it was Lecter’s turn to squirm. His mouth left Will’s ear and he twitched away from Will’s hand, frowning. Will pressed harder, liking the reaction.

“It feels good,” he answered, his voice hoarse. He swallowed, tried again. “Good, because in admitting my own pleasure, I now have the power to take yours.” He used the hand at Lecter’s back to tug him even closer, still rubbing him and enjoying how little he seemed to want what was happening. He leaned forward, the movement dislodging Lecter’s hands from the chair and forcing him to grip at Will to stay balanced. They landed on his biceps, squeezing rhythmically as Lecter watched him with narrowed eyes.

He had no idea what he was doing – the only time he’d ever touched another man this way had been when he was half out of his mind – but he was pretty sure that Lecter liked it to hurt a bit. With this in mind, he pressed him a little more firmly, and smiled in triumph as that elicited a sharp intake of breath from Lecter. Still, Will wasn’t satisfied. He tilted his head slightly to find Lecter’s ear and do some whispering of his own.

“You told me, when this first began, that you knew I had thought of you. You told me how I wanted what was happening, even if I tried to deny it. You told me to let go, that to do so would feel amazing. Do you remember?” Lecter was glaring at him, but his hips had started moving again, rocking with Will’s hand and causing the back of it to rub against his own hardness. Will tilted his head back slightly at the feeling, his eyes fluttering. Part of him wanted to quit talking, to just rut against Lecter and his own hand until he was satisfied, and Will wrestled with it a moment before resuming the thread of the conversation, focusing as much of his concentration as he could spare on keeping his voice steady.

“You were right. It did feel amazing when I let go. Part of that was physical, but it was also so, so good to just give in. The relief of it was almost overpowering. It had been so long since I’d allowed myself that option. How long has it been for you?” He leaned back, met Lecter’s eyes. They were defiant, but behind that defiance Will could see longing, could feel it in the way Lecter strained against him, and he pressed his advantage. “You can let go now. There’s nothing I can do to you, no way I can hurt you. I don’t _want_ to.”

Lecter’s eyes half closed, his hips bucked against Will’s hand once, twice, and then were still. His hands squeezed Will’s arms painfully tight for a few seconds before they released. Will stared, his own pleasure forgotten as he observed Lecter closely. He’d never been aware enough to see the other man reach his own climax during their past encounters, and he found that he was unsurprised by how reserved it turned out to be. Hannibal Lecter was not a man who could allow his control to slip, even for a moment. Will was going to have to break that control, chisel away at the mask until he could expose Lecter for what he really was, and he thought he’d taken the first step in that direction.

While Will watched, the small portion of poise that had left Lecter during his orgasm returned, leaving him looking unruffled as ever, the only evidence that he had just come the slight dampness against Will’s palm. He pulled his hand away, reminded of his own state of arousal when the back of it brushed him. Before he could contemplate using that same hand to take care of himself, he found his wrist caught gently, Lecter giving him one of his fond looks as he raised it to his lips. His tongue darted out to lick, and for some reason the sight of it had Will’s hips jerking as he came. Through the haze of pleasure he saw Lecter’s satisfied expression and wondered briefly if there was ever going to be a way to win, or if he was simply fooling himself into believing that he’d ever had a chance to try.  

~****~

Jack didn’t ask him how it went with Lecter. He continued on as always, calling Will to crime scenes and having weekly dinners at his friend Dr. Lecter’s place, eating the food that was put in front of him and always paying his compliments to the chef. Will felt his eyes on him, though, and knew he was waiting, and not very patiently, for him to make some headway. The pressure of his gaze settled between Will’s shoulder blades and stayed there, a constant itch that he could never quite scratch.

~****~

He saw Alana again nearly a month later, as she assisted with some particularly grueling interviews for Jack’s latest case. They literally ran into each other outside of the interrogation room, her heading out as Will went in to take his crack at their suspect. She looked him over as they made their apologies for the collision and moved around each other, and caught up with him again as he was leaving. Her gaze was warmer than it had been since he’d sent Matthew Brown after Lecter, and Will found himself more willing to talk to her than previously.

“You’re looking better,” she said, and the honest relief in her voice sent a sharp ache through Will. He could only nod.

“I’m assuming that it means you went back to therapy.”

Will nodded again, this time warily. Alana caught it and smiled. It reached her eyes.

“I’m not going to lecture. I don’t understand the two of you at all, but whatever Hannibal is doing, no one can deny it’s working. I am going to have to trust both of you to be the best judge of where you stand with each other, though I have to admit it will be a struggle.”

Will smiled back, unable to help himself. He missed Alana, missed her warmth and her way of offering comfort without being intrusive. He thought briefly of extending the hand of friendship again, of trying to work through their issues and return to something like what they had once had. He thought about it, then he glanced over her shoulder and put it aside. There was too much risk in letting Alana in again – too much that could go wrong if he invested in someone other than Lecter. It would leave them both open to be hurt, and he cared enough for her well-being that he couldn’t risk it. So instead of saying anything that might start to rebuild the relationship that they had once had, he only quirked another small smile in her direction before he walked away, hearing the door of their former friendship closing firmly in his head, a lock turning into place. He told himself that it was for the best; that he'd made the decision of his own accord, but the memory of Lecter's triumphant smile over Alana's shoulder made him wonder if he'd ever had a choice. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please do tell me what you think. I'm a bit nervous about this one because it's the first hint of plot I've managed to put in these things at all. Thanks!


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